Dear Michelle
Dear Michelle,
When we first met,
I was a bundle of nerves
Trying so hard to project passion, confidence, and coherence
So you, the interviewer, would want me as a colleague on your team
I felt seen and heard
Not clinically assessed
Your virtual presence radiated warmth and energy
I couldn’t wait to work with you and meet you in person someday
To soak up more of that magic
When we spoke after my first performance cycle
You demystified the complexity of it all
Knowing how alien and onerous it was to a newcomer
You spoke about your own journey freely
And helped me unpack and inch ahead
When we talked about your mother’s illness
I felt connected by our concern for our aging parents
That gnawing anxiety of being away from them
And the uneasy role reversal that inevitably happens
When we last spoke,
In what turned out to be our final chat
Your internet router was acting up
And I got a surprise mini tour of your apartment
As you proceeded to restart it
It was yet another conversation
Filled with the usual blend of giggles and gravitas
Generously shared nuggets of context and history
That helped me make sense of things
But I haven’t had my fill yet
Not even close
I’m disoriented by the oddness
Of cancelling our bi-weekly sessions on my calendar
It feels harsh and almost premature
Like you’d still be waiting at the other end
Raring to go, beaming smile and all
I know you will share your frequent doses of warmth and wisdom with other people now
Up and away in heaven
And they have no idea how lucky they are
Farewell.
